Sucking the Life Out of Relationships...

 By: Connie J..., June 24, 2024

This was a mad skill of mine, for a very long time - I was just SOOOOO needy. It really started in Elementary school (man, was I blessed with an AMAZING bff, since Kindergarten); but in my early 20s, when I did my own search for God in my life; boy did I eat through many relationships, then.

Not romantic relationships - that is so far out of my wheelhouse; but friendships, "Church family" relationships, you name it, I sucked the life out of many. I have redeemed quite a few, as I've gotten healthier; but some never came back - and that's OK. I only want people in my life that are meant to be; and I realize some are only for a season, anyway - realize the lesson in them, and move on from it.

My "pathological neediness" came from being raised in a Domestic Violence situation, and being an early Victim of Sexual Abuse - that neediness to fit in, well anywhere - and usually not in the healthiest way.

I used to be so ashamed of my past; but as I've worked through my issues, one painstaking issue at a time, I have grown exponentially into a person that is able to share MY story. Some through my Blogging, or in person with people (even strangers) I come in contact with on a daily basis.

My goal, nearly every day, is to be able to make some positive difference in at least ONE person's life. It doesn't matter if I am even aware of who it is; and I believe it happens.

I was able to "flip" my neediness, into being what someone else may need, at any given moment; even if I have to be bold or forward - my motivation is to follow what I feel I need to do.

Are you in a situation where you are able to "flip" a negative situation, to a positive, in YOUR life??! Give it a try...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - 
beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... August 24, 2026
...a good color to see life through. I am a second-generation (that I know of) "rageaholic". My fuse used to be so short, I sometimes wondered if there was even one to light - or that it was straight powder. As I have grown, matured and learned who I REALLY am/want to be, I have worked on that fuse. I watched my Father rage for most of my 51 years, before he passed. From conversations with people at the nursing home, I believe he had an 11th hour reckoning. While in my 20s, I had a friend take my car keys, "Because friends don't let friends drive angry." In my 30s, while in front of a judge, yet again, for speeding, he asked why? Told him I was angry. He pulled up my docket, and asked, "Were you angry this time, and this time, and this time...?". One of the MANY tickets, I was actually tired - ALL of the others were anger-related. Like I said, red is NOT a good color to see life through. I have been behaving, for many years, now; and if am angry, I find other outlets. Some of them being: - talking to someone - journaling - some type of creative venture - writing poetry - listening to/writing music - blogging (this blog is a GREAT outlet!!!) - art therapy Any number of options are available. You just have to make the choice to not be controlled by that anger. Does any of this connect with any part of your life, or someone you know? How have you fought that anger; or have you faced it, yet? Trust me, it will jot just go away. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #anger #red
By Connie J... August 17, 2026
I hear so many people say things, like, "When ___ happens, I'll be ready to ___.", or "If only I could ___, then I'd be ready for/to ___.", etc. They're looking/waiting for something external to cause the change. Like "The Good Witch of the East" told Dorothy and her crew; what they needed was inside them, all along. It's the choices you make EVERY day, both good AND bad, that compound and create your life. If you're not happy with how your life's going, what choices can you make, RIGHT NOW, to change your life's trajectory. To quote Erin Brockovich, "Superman is not coming."  What are YOU gonna do to bring about change??!
By Connie J... August 10, 2026
Often, when I feel that desperate urge to help someone (especially if they have NOT asked for it), I have to stop and ask myself, "Who am I doing this for??!". Having been such a people-pleaser for so long, I gotta check my motivation. Sometimes, doing something for the wrong reason, is as ineffective as not doing it, at all. I mean sure, who CAN'T use help, almost always - but I'm scoping further out - am I coming between them, and a very valuable life-lesson? Have they landed in this particular situation due to the life-choices THEY have made; and if I swoop in and help them, am I robbing them of that life-lesson??! While THAT really isn't my choice to make - my helping them, is. If I feel compelled, like in my bones - yes; but if I have a "catch" - you KNOW what that is, perhaps I need to just step back. You cannot be controlled by whether they get mad, or not - follow YOUR feeling, and do what YOU need to do. Have you ever found yourself in this kind of predicament? How did yours play out? 
By Connie J... August 3, 2026
Often, when I feel that desperate urge to help someone (especially if they have NOT asked for it), I have to stop and ask myself, "Who am I doing this for??!". Having been such a people-pleaser for so long, I gotta check my motivation. Sometimes, doing something for the wrong reason, is as ineffective as not doing it, at all. I mean sure, who CAN'T use help, almost always - but I'm scoping further out - am I coming between them, and a very valuable life-lesson? Have they landed in this particular situation due to the life-choices THEY have made; and if I swoop in and help them, am I robbing them of that life-lesson??! While THAT really isn't my choice to make - my helping them, is. If I feel compelled, like in my bones - yes; but if I have a "catch" - you KNOW what that is, perhaps I need to just step back. You cannot be controlled by whether they get mad, or not - follow YOUR feeling, and do what YOU need to do. Have you ever found yourself in this kind of predicament? How did yours play out? 
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