It's Not Loyalty...

 By: Connie J..., June 7, 2024

...I seek from people. That can vary too much, according to each person's perspective - which is usually different for each individual, because of it's many levels.


I seek commitment - that WE'RE going to work through the hard times, celebrate the good times; and just be there for each other for everything else - we're working on this together.


This post was inspired by a former friend that actually believed that if someone had a negative opinion of her, and I heard it and didn't speak up, that I wasn't considered "loyal". What's next - are my "knees in danger"??!

I, or she, has no control over what ANYONE else believes about a certain person, or situation. It's actually no one else's business, amiright??!


That doesn't mean it might not be a little painful; but then it's time for introspection into what is the truth. If there are changes to be made, that is up to the individual; whereas, if they don't see a problem, then that, again, falls on them.

We're to live our own lives; all anyone else can add, is their opinion, and that's where it ends.


I think that's one reason people struggle with Domestic Violence situations - they're seeking "loyalty" from their partner, instead of commitment, at the cost of themselves.


Maybe it's time for a little introspection into the truth? I'm in - challenge accepted...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #commitment


*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... June 16, 2025
C.ounting O.n M.y P.ersonal A.ttempts to S.upport S.omeone's I.ndividuality, WITHOUT trying to O.verride what THEY  N.eed We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... June 9, 2025
How do you handle this type of situation? Do you just roll with it; or do you lose your mind - trying to fix it and make it work, anyway? These are both valid choices; but, look at the bottom-line. What is the most important thing? Is there a way for you to prioritize what needs to happen, without losing your mind, in the process? Granted, there WILL be things you CANNOT change - BUT what CAN you do? Take a moment, or seven, and think about your options. THIS is where YOUR change will happen. If there is nothing you can do to change anything, or if it was caused by something you did - take responsibility for it, and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Dwelling on/in it - won't change a thing. Learn, and go on. I know people, myself included (in the past), that are still dwelling on/trying to "fix" something from decades ago!!! Just stop!!! Your racing brain will very rarely solve ANYTHING current, let alone something from the past!!!  Does any of this sound remotely familiar??! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... June 2, 2025
...every single day of your life - beginning when you wake up. Are you a snooze button fiend; or do you get up as soon as (or even before) that alarm goes off??! Do you do a healthy breakfast, or just glug down some coffee, and a muffin? These are all choices that we make, usually, without much thought.  There are, also, major choices we make EVERY day. Such as: - are we going to choose kindness? - are we going to let "little" things bug us? - how are we going to speak to OURSELVES??! - are we going to let someone else's bad mood/choices ruin OUR day? You see, it's NOT what happens to you, that has the biggest affect on you - it's what YOU choose to do, NEXT. I believe this is where much of the disconnect from ourselves happens. We either forget, or many don't even realize the plethora of choices we have, no matter how big or small our situation may be. I've used the rudder on a ship, as an example, before. That LITTLE apparatus makes ALL the difference on the ship's trajectory. History has demonstrated how an over/undercorrection can change so much. The bottom-line I want you to take from all this, is this - YOU HAVE CHOICES. MAKE THEM. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... May 19, 2025
...THREE new cell phones!!! 😬 😬 😬 Talk about juggling!!! 🙄 🙄 🙄  I am NOT that tech savvy!!! Me trying to make my way through all of the pitfalls that come up, has STRESSED. ME. OUT!!! Metaphorically, it demonstrates, to me, how MANY Victims of an abusive relationship live their entire lives. There is no respite - no chance to rest and relax. Just moving from crisis, to crisis, etc. Then, when you think you have something figured out, and can, maybe, start moving forward; one of those bowling balls you've been juggling kind of lands on your head!!! It's unsettling, and keeps you off-balance - which is part of the perpetrator's method of operation. It's hard to reach out and seek help, if your hands are always full!!! So keeping you busy is a priority!!! This is ONE reason, that self-care is so important. It gives you a breather, even if only for a few minutes. Helps you clear your head; and maybe come up with your next life-move. Do you feel like some of this was taken from your true-life story??! I encourage you to investigate inside yourself, even further. Find a few minutes, every day, to look at things, realistically; and see what changes you need to, and are able to make. Subtle changes - like the rudder on a ship that can, amazingly, turn that ship in the direction it needs to go. Have you SEEN how small that rudder is, compared to the size of the ship - miniscule!!! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... May 12, 2025
Do you know that if you get into that kind of "backpedaling" conversation, it could go on for hours, or days, or even decades??! I was inspired to write this particular post, by a recent conversation with a Friend. He and I were discussing a previous conversation that sort of came to an impasse, when he responded with, "Well, yeah, but..."; and proceeded to continue arguing his point. I looked at him, and said, "Well - we could 'well, yeah, but' until two weeks from next Thursday; and I don't believe either one of us would change the other person's response/feelings/etc." He went on to work, and we met up about an hour later. In that time, I had been thinking over our conversation - the bottom-line, was that neither one of us was "wrong"; but his feelings had gotten hurt. I had stood firm on what I had said; buuuuuut - recalled something I had read, recently, about taking responsibility for hurting someone, even when you aren't wrong. The metaphor goes something like this: - you have a glass you really like - someone comes in, and accidentally bumps it off the counter, and it shatters - you are hurt inside your heart - that glass was a special gift from someone you love very much - they try to "explain away" your hurt, by saying, over and over, I didn't mean to break your glass - BUT, that really doesn't make you feel ANY better, does it??! (Their reaction to your reaction can really mess up relationships, eh??!) - they, then, say just these 4 simple words, "I broke the glass" - taking accountability for the situation; thereby, acknowledging your feelings - it doesn't change a thing, that glass ain't coming back; but the feelings can now begin to heal He and I have now set up that "code" for conversations, where he feels I should apologize for something I said - but, I'm wondering why I should apologize, when I don't believe I did anything wrong - impasse. Honestly, it's usually me that opens my mouth more often, than not...  Sound familiar? I believe EVERYONE has those conversations, that reach an impasse - there is still a way to complete them, without ANYONE feeling steamrolled. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... May 5, 2025
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