Blog Layout
Break THAT Chain...
By: Connie J..., May 30, 2024
One of the BIGGEST "chains" in family dynamics is "Obligation".
One major obligation, is that EVERYONE MUST ATTEND EVERY family gathering; and usually minimal excuses are "accepted" (and grudgingly, if at all).
"I don't want to go" is, seemingly, NEVER an acceptable reason. But, does anyone ever ask "Why don't they want to go?" Usually, it's rebuffed with a general, "They just don't understand that you should be there".
More often, than not, there is "generation obligation syndrome" (I just made that up), going on; you just attend everything, because that's what has always been done. Good reason, right??! Not really, if being there is only out of obligation, and you don't feel like you need, or want to be there.
This was a really difficult link on MY chain to traverse, and finally break. It doesn't mean that on Holidays, or when I know gatherings are happening, I don't get a little stab of the "wah-wahs" - fear of missing out (fomo).
It's ok, we're all human, and have to make our own paths. If some gatherings make you more uncomfortable, than if you didn't go at all - don't attend. Others opinions really don't matter, when you're strong enough to be true to what YOU need.
That's the bottom line of "Breaking THAT Chain"...I challenge you. There are many opportunities for gathering, in the summer, especially. Do what YOU need to do - have your own gathering, with people you want to be there. If not, don't. It's ok...remember, your mental health is paramount.
Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe
*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?
*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.
PREVIOUS POSTS
I have been bingeing the movie "Wicked" - well, one pivotal scene, in particular - the Ozdust. My Counselor recently asked me why I think I love it, so much. In THAT Ozdust moment, Elphaba AND Galinda BOTH chose growth, at the same moment...THAT is why I love it, so much... I have spent my whole life searching for people who were willing to grow. Every step I've taken, in my life, whether I was aware of it, or not, has been dedicated to my growth. My circle is, now, very small - at first, I was confused; but, if you're not open to growth, I no longer "need you" in my inner circle. I will still keep connections, with those that are willing; but to those unwilling - I wish you all the best... These are life choices that many in Domestic Violence situations need to get to a point, to make - DOES your partner FIT in with YOUR lifegoals? I encourage you to do some deep reflection; and would love to hear your take on all this... Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #everybodyknowsomebody #besafe #notimeforhate #growth #ismygoal #YOUCOMING ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.
...the corner of life. I was bullied by a boy, in Junior High. When I got home and "told someone", the "support" I got, was, "He just likes you. That's what boys do. Your Father used to tease me, relentlessly." Made me feel soooooooo much better - NOT!!! 😡😡😡 This caused me to be wary, everywhere I went - it was a small town; and he could literally be anywhere - he lived 3 blocks away, on the same street; between me and the school. I think that's when my "peeking around corners" began; in every aspect of my life. I needed to be sure I had a clear path to any destination - literally, AND figuratively. Also, had to avoid getting bullied, again; by anyone. This can make your life feel very...compartmentalized. Which, by the way, added to the already established "compartments" my life was in, due to my childhood sexual abuse. As I have grown, over the years; most of my compartments have, basically, fused together. My daily goal is to be, "What you see, is what you get."; and for the most part, that's who I am. Though periodically, when in a new situation; or I feel like that Junior High girl, again; I may find myself, still, "peeking around" those corners. Have you done this, or do you still do it? How have you healed that part of yourself? Would love to hear your insight into this topic. Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.
There is a DEFINITE difference between these two phrases; although MANY people, generally, believe they mean the same thing. Were YOU aware? It took me a LOOOOONG time to grasp this concept; and of course, it took many "epiphanies", for it to stick. Recently re-learned it, as a matter of fact. Just apologizing, with NO accountability, or changed behavior, is a breeze. An example of this would be, when people say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" - it's like they're taking away your ability to feel, and process that hurt. However, in seeking forgiveness, if they say something like, "I'm sorry what I said hurt you" - you are still able to feel and process your feelings. These are basics I try to keep in mind during everyday conversation. As I said, re-learned it recently - the goal isn't to be perfect; it's what you do AFTER you speak incorrectly, that makes all the difference. I encourage you to keep engaging, and seeking forgiveness, when necessary - that is ONE way, we can ALL grow...I love a good two-fer... Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.
...no diamonds". I saw this on a t-shirt, recently. Very profound, don't you think? The process that coal goes through, to become a diamond is incredible. I mean, yes, in its natural state, coal can be useful. But, as a diamond - the uses are unlimited. I believe we all arrive like coal - birth IS an extraction process of a "natural resource" (which, sometimes, is more difficult, than others; accidents happen, people get wounded, or worse.) LIFE is the "pressure" that processes us into the "diamond" we ALL have the potential to become. They are real, not all perfect; but are valuable in their natural state, regardless. When made into beautiful jewelry, etc - the limits are endless!!! Just like us!!! WE HAVE ENDLESS LIMITS, ALSO!!! Who knew??! It took me a LOOOOOOONG time to learn this - and yes, I do, periodically, question my true value - it's a human thing. Just means it's time for a little reevaluation; then move back into the "traffic of life". It's what we are supposed to do. Yes, it CAN be traumatic; but it's like the proverbial, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Grab what knowledge you need - your "diamond"; and make NEW jewelry, if you need to!!! I challenge you to BE that diamond!!! Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.
This comes into my mind, quite often - especially when I veer off-track of the goals I have for my life. I immediately stop the perpetual "hamster-wheel" that is my brain; and reevaluate what my current life-goals are. This thought process is often triggered by an outside source - someone questions why I do what I do, or react the the way I do; and I just begin that reevaluation process, again. This isn't necessarily a negative thing. While the situation that triggers the process may not be the most pleasant of situations, or brought about in a most flattering way; it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Life is about constantly evolving, changing and growing. Struggles are learning experiences - what happens after/in the midst of it, are MY choice. That is how you get your "Why" - from the choices made, as a result of your struggles; and I encourage you to utilize this wisdom, to figure out YOUR "Why", if you haven't already. It's never too late to start - why not now??! Have a Happy New Year, and above all, #besafe...#beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.
...I encourage you to take a moment to look back, and see: 1 - any changes you've made this year... 2 - changes you would like to make, as 2025 comes in... 3 - acknowledgment of growth you've seen in yourself this year... 4 - growth you're anticipating in 2025... Try to highlight those positive things; and maybe dim the light on those negative things that seem to bring you down. But remember, everything you go through can be utilized as bricks to build your future endeavors. I, personally, believe everything, good and bad, happens for a reason. There are those that don't believe this; and that's ok. Everyone has the freedom to believe as they do. The bottom line, is, that you grow. I have known many people over the years, that have chosen to stay where they are - refused to grow, make changes in their lives, etc. Again, this is their choice, not mine; but as a result, I have had to move on - because I choose growth. Have a Happy New Year, and above all, #besafe...#beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .
