What To Do??!

 By: Connie J..., June 26, 2023

Helen wasn't sure what she should do!!! She had been contacted by a former classmate, Blanche. A few years ago, after a class reunion, while getting together for lunch, they had discussed Facebook. Blanche, said though she didn't have a page, her husband Frank, spent a lot of time on it. Helen gave her the information to give Frank. They had doubled a few times and hung out, in high school, so she knew Frank, and thought, "What the harm?"

Well - back in high school she had been VERRRRRY needy, and targeted by many predators. She had done a lot of work, since then, and put most of her predators where they belonged - in the past. Apparently, her memories of Frank had been blocked - until that night, when he sexted her over Facebook Messenger. She had always been a very good victim, shall we say; and just fell into old times so fluidly, it was scary.

As soon as she realized what was going on, she got off Messenger, and proceeded to block, remove, everything she could do regarding Frank. BUT, she had still crossed her line, and the shame and guilt came rushing in!!!

Incidentally, when they got together years ago, Blanche had been going on and on about all the divorces in the class; and how proud she was that she and Frank had been together since she was 14 (she was now in her mid-50s).

Fast-forward - Blanche contacted Helen recently, and wants to get together. Since that incident, years ago - every time she has thought of Blanche contacting her, again, Helen has dreaded the thought. So guilt-ridden, it was almost paralyzing. When she did contact her - the guilt came - but the difference was when Helen realized she HAD done the right thing after she realized what was going on with Frank, and stopped it immediately. She took responsibility, so WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR??! She didn't contact him for immoral things, right??!

Helen has decided she is going to tell Blanche everything. The friendship may survive, or it may not; but most importantly, Helen will be able to live on guilt-free from yet another ugly thing in her past that was dealt with in a healthy manner.

Life is really hard, sometimes, and choices MUST be made. Always remember - YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I generally share a "What If..." post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... June 22, 2026
Is it real - or just your imagination playing tricks on you??! I have come to realize, in MANY of life's situations, that the one putting the MOST pressure on me, IS ME!!! Though, when questioned, my response is usually, "Well, THEY said...", etc. However, realistically - who IS "THEY"??! Often, it's the old tapes replaying in my head, from situations gone bad in the past - and NOT wanting to feel that sting, again. While we ARE supposed to learn from the past, we are ALSO supposed to grow from it. Not "pinball" our way through life - bouncing from trigger to trigger - changing directions, every time. In the consistent choices we make, each time we bounce off that trigger, we are able to choose where we want to go - IT IS A LEARNED RESPONSE, and it takes time - but if you never start, you'll never learn. The ONLY way to remove the pressures you feel, is the choices you make when they arise. Take it from a "Recovering Pressure Cooker"... We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #pressure
By Connie J... June 15, 2026
"Isn't it funny how often I point fingers, before reflecting on my own behavior?" (Sam Demma) This quote made me think of my Father - because this was beyond his realm of thought. He could blame ANY problem he had in his life, on ANYONE but himself. Every Father's Day. I always feel "some-kinda-way" because of the type of relationship I had with him, or didn't. With the choices I have made in the second half of my life - based on Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Commitment, Truth and Accountability - my life has been different. (I'm far from claiming perfection, here.) That's something he DID teach me - what NOT to do; and ANY time I get too focused on choices other people are making, I get a snap back into reality - keep in your own lane. That is all you can, and should WANT to control. Can you relate to this? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #whatif #possibilities
By Connie J... June 8, 2026
I have heard this one word - "forgiveness" - on opposite sides of so many conversations, and arguments. When you've been abused, in any way, and you hear it - the knee-jerk reaction is, "NO!!!" But, the reality of this word - it's not for the abuser, per se; it's to release YOUR heart and mind from carrying that weight of unforgivenness. Twisted up in that maze of of unforgiveness, is usually anger - not only at your abuser; but anger coupled with shame, at yourself. There are usually some, "I should've, I shouldn't have, how did I let myself"s all mangled up in that maze. Forgiveness helps you untwist each strand, and place the blame squarely where it belongs - on the abuser, not you. Compare to a knot in your shoelace, the yarn you knit or crochet with, etc - sometimes, you can get it untangled by yourself; other times, you need to ask for help. It's all a part of the process - to help YOU grow, and move on from that part of your story. Is it time for you to give Forgiveness some serious thought in your life? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter building #learning #keepgrowing #whatisnext #forgiveness
By Connie J... June 1, 2026
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By Connie J... May 25, 2026
In our world, fear is a very common feeling. It's kinda getting scarier day by day. How can we not be overtaken by it? After 9/11, I battled some very strong fears - including a small plane flying overhead, when I was walking down the street, in my small town. That whole Covid debacle - they shut down the world!!! Then, I lived through the Derailment. I feel fear every day - wondering if I'll get sick. All of these bring up valid fears - but what am I supposed to do? Sit in a corner and chew on my hair??! Ineffective coping mechanism, right? But what CAN I do? Face them - talk to people, even a professional if need be. Remember, we ALL have the choice of our REACTION to our fears - we can let them paralyze us; or motivate us into action, EVERY DAY. What will YOU choose? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #fear
By Connie J... May 18, 2026
...your biggest fear DID happen? ...your biggest fear did NOT happen? ...you took that chance you've been prolonging? ...you took the first step to protect YOURSELF? ... you found out what "they said" WAS true? ...you found out what "they said" was NOT true? ...you took a deep breath, and you WERE able to begin to relax? ...you just "Let Them" do them? ...you "Let Yourself" do you? ...you BELIEVED your life was meant to be lived to the fullest? ...you COULD just be? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #whatif #possibilities
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