What To Do??!

 By: Connie J..., June 26, 2023

Helen wasn't sure what she should do!!! She had been contacted by a former classmate, Blanche. A few years ago, after a class reunion, while getting together for lunch, they had discussed Facebook. Blanche, said though she didn't have a page, her husband Frank, spent a lot of time on it. Helen gave her the information to give Frank. They had doubled a few times and hung out, in high school, so she knew Frank, and thought, "What the harm?"

Well - back in high school she had been VERRRRRY needy, and targeted by many predators. She had done a lot of work, since then, and put most of her predators where they belonged - in the past. Apparently, her memories of Frank had been blocked - until that night, when he sexted her over Facebook Messenger. She had always been a very good victim, shall we say; and just fell into old times so fluidly, it was scary.

As soon as she realized what was going on, she got off Messenger, and proceeded to block, remove, everything she could do regarding Frank. BUT, she had still crossed her line, and the shame and guilt came rushing in!!!

Incidentally, when they got together years ago, Blanche had been going on and on about all the divorces in the class; and how proud she was that she and Frank had been together since she was 14 (she was now in her mid-50s).

Fast-forward - Blanche contacted Helen recently, and wants to get together. Since that incident, years ago - every time she has thought of Blanche contacting her, again, Helen has dreaded the thought. So guilt-ridden, it was almost paralyzing. When she did contact her - the guilt came - but the difference was when Helen realized she HAD done the right thing after she realized what was going on with Frank, and stopped it immediately. She took responsibility, so WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR??! She didn't contact him for immoral things, right??!

Helen has decided she is going to tell Blanche everything. The friendship may survive, or it may not; but most importantly, Helen will be able to live on guilt-free from yet another ugly thing in her past that was dealt with in a healthy manner.

Life is really hard, sometimes, and choices MUST be made. Always remember - YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I generally share a "What If..." post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... March 23, 2026
...you least want to do, is often the best thing for you. I have developed quite the procrastination expertise, over the years. Example: n my tween and early teen years, it would, literally, take me hours to do the dishes. My imagination - with the counter becoming my "parallel bars" (I am the same age as Nadia Commaneci); or a spoon becoming my microphone (of course, the radio was on - 70s music ruled) - would take over. I had a good time; but STILL had no desire to just do the dishes. More often, than not - all the time you wasted attempting to avoid, seems silly, when you look back. Now, my daily life-goal, is to "Eat the Frog" - tackle the most difficult task, early in the day. Still not 100%; but over the last few years, I have discovered I am a morning person - so that is my most focused time, overall. Commitment to doing "The Thing" REALLY IS the best choice. Remember, it can be a catalyst to getting even more done. What are some things you may be struggling with - your "frog"? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #gratitude #eatthefrog #dothething
By Connie J... March 16, 2026
...for not knowing better, then. Move forward, with the understanding you have, NOW. I was stuck in this perpetual loop for DECADES; paralyzed, and unable to move forward with my healing, until one day this "clicked". I had already survived the abuse - and I kept re-abusing myself, with EVERY loop. It was like I couldn't get my "healing engine" to keep running. Then, as I said, something just clicked in me. I still had to travel the path - am actually not far from it, on any given day; but each time I need a "jumpstart", I am not back at the beginning. I can start from right where I am. I just have to remind myself, that I DO know better now - and the power it has over me dissipates, as I forgive myself, once again. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #forgiveness #isforyou
By Connie J... March 9, 2026
...with a person who NEVER "gets" you - has you explaining your motives for nearly everything you say, or do - irregardless of your relationship. Sounds like a sustainable relationship, right??! NOT!!! Are they willing to do the same for you? If you question their motivations for ANYTHING, do they tend to get salty? Wondering why you're questioning them? Are you losing YOUR OWN thoughts and feelings, while pursuing their approval and acceptance? I understand relationships take time to build and grow - but if you do an assessment, today - are you BOTH putting your best into growing your relationship? I get it - life happens, and not everyone can do 100% EVERY day; but if you only have 60%, are they able to help with that other 40% THAT day, to at least try? Then, on their low days, are you able to reciprocate? Relationship balance is rarely 50/50; but are you working as a team? Each of you utilizing your skills, and attempting to grow your relationship on a daily basis? That's the rub. What ways can you begin to work together on this assessment, and decisions, if necessary? What If you cannot? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #sustainable
By Connie J... March 2, 2026
...is NOT your fault. I will say it, again - how people treat you is NOT. Your. Fault. Period. I think this is a good place for me to stop writing. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter
By Connie J... February 23, 2026
...for us to move forward, in life, is to release the "small things" that continue to hold us hostage, where we are. One is grudges - while seemingly huge, are actually a small thing. Believe me - I was raised by a "grudge holding master"!!! Some of my family still holds them; and the "master" has been gone since 2012!!! I have made choices in my life to, first, release grudges that weren't mine to hold; then, to move onto my own - and release them. All a part of the process of personal growth. Periodically, something random will pop up, and I have to take a look at it - and place it where it belongs - usually, in the past, to remove the power it's attempting to take from my present. In this life, I need to be full power, ya know??! What are some of the "small things" holding back YOUR personal growth? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter
By Connie J... February 16, 2026
As a child, I WAS SILENCED about SOOOOO many things: - family secrets - my own Sexual Abuse - how I felt about MOST things etc... Now, as an adult, finally having a voice, I am in the process of learning that it's okay to be silent; that there are MANY times I have NO reason to share my unsolicited opinion. One example - I don't have to insert my opinion on anyone else's life choices. I, personally, believe we all stand alone at the end of our life; my opinion about ANYONE else will not mean a thing, in that moment; so why waste my precious time on earth? Though I may disagree, for whatever reason - I may be given an opportunity to share it - if I'm not, my job is to reconcile it within myself. Our job on earth is to love and be supportive of others. Sometimes, choices must be made, however. We are not required to partake in anything we don't support. The old "love them, but not what they do". Does this remind you of any current, or past situations in your life? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter
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