Forgive and Forget (No Shade)...

 By: Connie J..., November 28, 2023

Forgive and Forget (No Shade)...

Forgiveness is a tricky subject. People usually hear it, and their hand flies up in defiance; followed by the words, “I will NEVER forgive them for what they did!!!” At this point, they consider the subject closed.

In reality, the forgiveness is not necessarily for the one that wronged you – it is actually for yourself, for getting duped, probably, yet again. That’s when we kick ourselves the hardest; thereby, causing our self-esteem, and the ability to see the truth to become tainted.

One of the pitfalls, if you will, is the potential for “leftovers”. You forgive yourself, or someone else; then something happens, and you are tempted to say something, like, “I was just WAITING for this to happen, again.”, or something similar. That takes away from the forgiveness you extended – also known as “throwing shade” over the situation – begging the question, “Was your forgiveness legit?”; or was it just to look like the “bigger person” – which is kinda shady, don’t you think? I’m just saying ‘…


It will take practice, but it IS possible to “forgive and forget”; in fact, that’s the healthiest thing – then you can focus on the healing in the present FROM the past, without all that “extra stuff” that just gets in the way.

Is your forgiveness clear and sunny, or a little “shady”?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe 



PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... August 24, 2026
...a good color to see life through. I am a second-generation (that I know of) "rageaholic". My fuse used to be so short, I sometimes wondered if there was even one to light - or that it was straight powder. As I have grown, matured and learned who I REALLY am/want to be, I have worked on that fuse. I watched my Father rage for most of my 51 years, before he passed. From conversations with people at the nursing home, I believe he had an 11th hour reckoning. While in my 20s, I had a friend take my car keys, "Because friends don't let friends drive angry." In my 30s, while in front of a judge, yet again, for speeding, he asked why? Told him I was angry. He pulled up my docket, and asked, "Were you angry this time, and this time, and this time...?". One of the MANY tickets, I was actually tired - ALL of the others were anger-related. Like I said, red is NOT a good color to see life through. I have been behaving, for many years, now; and if am angry, I find other outlets. Some of them being: - talking to someone - journaling - some type of creative venture - writing poetry - listening to/writing music - blogging (this blog is a GREAT outlet!!!) - art therapy Any number of options are available. You just have to make the choice to not be controlled by that anger. Does any of this connect with any part of your life, or someone you know? How have you fought that anger; or have you faced it, yet? Trust me, it will jot just go away. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #anger #red
By Connie J... August 17, 2026
I hear so many people say things, like, "When ___ happens, I'll be ready to ___.", or "If only I could ___, then I'd be ready for/to ___.", etc. They're looking/waiting for something external to cause the change. Like "The Good Witch of the East" told Dorothy and her crew; what they needed was inside them, all along. It's the choices you make EVERY day, both good AND bad, that compound and create your life. If you're not happy with how your life's going, what choices can you make, RIGHT NOW, to change your life's trajectory. To quote Erin Brockovich, "Superman is not coming."  What are YOU gonna do to bring about change??!
By Connie J... August 10, 2026
Often, when I feel that desperate urge to help someone (especially if they have NOT asked for it), I have to stop and ask myself, "Who am I doing this for??!". Having been such a people-pleaser for so long, I gotta check my motivation. Sometimes, doing something for the wrong reason, is as ineffective as not doing it, at all. I mean sure, who CAN'T use help, almost always - but I'm scoping further out - am I coming between them, and a very valuable life-lesson? Have they landed in this particular situation due to the life-choices THEY have made; and if I swoop in and help them, am I robbing them of that life-lesson??! While THAT really isn't my choice to make - my helping them, is. If I feel compelled, like in my bones - yes; but if I have a "catch" - you KNOW what that is, perhaps I need to just step back. You cannot be controlled by whether they get mad, or not - follow YOUR feeling, and do what YOU need to do. Have you ever found yourself in this kind of predicament? How did yours play out? 
By Connie J... August 3, 2026
Often, when I feel that desperate urge to help someone (especially if they have NOT asked for it), I have to stop and ask myself, "Who am I doing this for??!". Having been such a people-pleaser for so long, I gotta check my motivation. Sometimes, doing something for the wrong reason, is as ineffective as not doing it, at all. I mean sure, who CAN'T use help, almost always - but I'm scoping further out - am I coming between them, and a very valuable life-lesson? Have they landed in this particular situation due to the life-choices THEY have made; and if I swoop in and help them, am I robbing them of that life-lesson??! While THAT really isn't my choice to make - my helping them, is. If I feel compelled, like in my bones - yes; but if I have a "catch" - you KNOW what that is, perhaps I need to just step back. You cannot be controlled by whether they get mad, or not - follow YOUR feeling, and do what YOU need to do. Have you ever found yourself in this kind of predicament? How did yours play out? 
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