Forgive and Forget (No Shade)...

 By: Connie J..., November 28, 2023

Forgive and Forget (No Shade)...

Forgiveness is a tricky subject. People usually hear it, and their hand flies up in defiance; followed by the words, “I will NEVER forgive them for what they did!!!” At this point, they consider the subject closed.

In reality, the forgiveness is not necessarily for the one that wronged you – it is actually for yourself, for getting duped, probably, yet again. That’s when we kick ourselves the hardest; thereby, causing our self-esteem, and the ability to see the truth to become tainted.

One of the pitfalls, if you will, is the potential for “leftovers”. You forgive yourself, or someone else; then something happens, and you are tempted to say something, like, “I was just WAITING for this to happen, again.”, or something similar. That takes away from the forgiveness you extended – also known as “throwing shade” over the situation – begging the question, “Was your forgiveness legit?”; or was it just to look like the “bigger person” – which is kinda shady, don’t you think? I’m just saying ‘…


It will take practice, but it IS possible to “forgive and forget”; in fact, that’s the healthiest thing – then you can focus on the healing in the present FROM the past, without all that “extra stuff” that just gets in the way.

Is your forgiveness clear and sunny, or a little “shady”?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe 



PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... June 22, 2026
Is it real - or just your imagination playing tricks on you??! I have come to realize, in MANY of life's situations, that the one putting the MOST pressure on me, IS ME!!! Though, when questioned, my response is usually, "Well, THEY said...", etc. However, realistically - who IS "THEY"??! Often, it's the old tapes replaying in my head, from situations gone bad in the past - and NOT wanting to feel that sting, again. While we ARE supposed to learn from the past, we are ALSO supposed to grow from it. Not "pinball" our way through life - bouncing from trigger to trigger - changing directions, every time. In the consistent choices we make, each time we bounce off that trigger, we are able to choose where we want to go - IT IS A LEARNED RESPONSE, and it takes time - but if you never start, you'll never learn. The ONLY way to remove the pressures you feel, is the choices you make when they arise. Take it from a "Recovering Pressure Cooker"... We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #pressure
By Connie J... June 15, 2026
"Isn't it funny how often I point fingers, before reflecting on my own behavior?" (Sam Demma) This quote made me think of my Father - because this was beyond his realm of thought. He could blame ANY problem he had in his life, on ANYONE but himself. Every Father's Day. I always feel "some-kinda-way" because of the type of relationship I had with him, or didn't. With the choices I have made in the second half of my life - based on Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Commitment, Truth and Accountability - my life has been different. (I'm far from claiming perfection, here.) That's something he DID teach me - what NOT to do; and ANY time I get too focused on choices other people are making, I get a snap back into reality - keep in your own lane. That is all you can, and should WANT to control. Can you relate to this? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #whatif #possibilities
By Connie J... June 8, 2026
I have heard this one word - "forgiveness" - on opposite sides of so many conversations, and arguments. When you've been abused, in any way, and you hear it - the knee-jerk reaction is, "NO!!!" But, the reality of this word - it's not for the abuser, per se; it's to release YOUR heart and mind from carrying that weight of unforgivenness. Twisted up in that maze of of unforgiveness, is usually anger - not only at your abuser; but anger coupled with shame, at yourself. There are usually some, "I should've, I shouldn't have, how did I let myself"s all mangled up in that maze. Forgiveness helps you untwist each strand, and place the blame squarely where it belongs - on the abuser, not you. Compare to a knot in your shoelace, the yarn you knit or crochet with, etc - sometimes, you can get it untangled by yourself; other times, you need to ask for help. It's all a part of the process - to help YOU grow, and move on from that part of your story. Is it time for you to give Forgiveness some serious thought in your life? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter building #learning #keepgrowing #whatisnext #forgiveness
By Connie J... June 1, 2026
When you fixate on ANYTHING, like fear, gratitude, or anything in between; it can take over your entire brain function. Believe me - I am a "fixater" from waaaaaay back - like a dog with a bone! Choose wisely what you let your brain entertain.There is truly NO limit to what your fixation can keep you from - whaaaaaaa??! Basically, it keeps you from any kind of forward motion; and REALLY messes with keeping up with responsibilities and commitments, because it forms a type of mental paralysis. As with ANYTHING, a healthy balance works to keep you moving forward. Remember, it isn't always "negative stuff", either. What fixation has been holding YOU back??! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #fixation
By Connie J... May 25, 2026
In our world, fear is a very common feeling. It's kinda getting scarier day by day. How can we not be overtaken by it? After 9/11, I battled some very strong fears - including a small plane flying overhead, when I was walking down the street, in my small town. That whole Covid debacle - they shut down the world!!! Then, I lived through the Derailment. I feel fear every day - wondering if I'll get sick. All of these bring up valid fears - but what am I supposed to do? Sit in a corner and chew on my hair??! Ineffective coping mechanism, right? But what CAN I do? Face them - talk to people, even a professional if need be. Remember, we ALL have the choice of our REACTION to our fears - we can let them paralyze us; or motivate us into action, EVERY DAY. What will YOU choose? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #fear
By Connie J... May 18, 2026
...your biggest fear DID happen? ...your biggest fear did NOT happen? ...you took that chance you've been prolonging? ...you took the first step to protect YOURSELF? ... you found out what "they said" WAS true? ...you found out what "they said" was NOT true? ...you took a deep breath, and you WERE able to begin to relax? ...you just "Let Them" do them? ...you "Let Yourself" do you? ...you BELIEVED your life was meant to be lived to the fullest? ...you COULD just be? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #whatif #possibilities
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