Nov. 22, 2021

WERE You "Ghosted"? (Connie J...)

I have been hearing this term used a LOT, lately - and honestly, it's made me think.

I'm sure people have used it regarding me, and here's why...over the last few years, I have separated myself from people that have refused to listen to me after I have clearly, and HONESTLY (I made certain) expressed things that needed to be said to them.

One was right after I lost my Mother. I waited in a "holding pattern" for her to die from Alzheimers, for years. After she passed, I expressed the need to be alone, to grieve and get my feet back under me, until I FELT ready to be with people (besides work; and I did involve my counselor in my decision).

This person expressed, a few weeks later, that SHE "needed to see me, and was kidnapping me for breakfast". I went, but the whole time, I couldn't wait to get home. Upon arriving home, I immediately deleted/blocked them from my life - because I felt my feelings had been completely disregarded.

I realize that I DID make the choice to go, and shouldn't have; but that incident changed my life.

I DO NOT have to keep myself in ANY relationship in which I have to make myself feel "less".

If I cannot be honest, and be my COMPLETE self in ANY relationship, let alone a committed (male/female, male/male, female/female, etc) one; then I WILL pull away.

I read once, "You do not owe anyone an interaction" (I Googled to find source of quote, but was unsuccessful). These words began a major change, that has taken years (btw) of my life to achieve.

My feelings/commitment to that person do not change - I just remove myself from the equation.

Between the loss of my Mother, and the Pandemic, though I have been alone a lot, it's enabled me to achieve more personal growth into the "me" I truly am.

Now, all this being said, have you really been "ghosted" in a Domestic Violence situation; or have they been demonstrating how they really are? Using their "honesty" (cough, cough) as a weapon to abuse you?

As with even positive things, the motivation behind them is what makes all the difference in the world.

So, I ask again, were you "ghosted", or is it really a sign for you to make a change in your life?

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE ****** #EtSoV #beaware #listen #ibelieveyou #doyouhear

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I share a "What If..." post on the first Monday, of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... -; or through Ozer, at the website or email, 

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