Jan. 13, 2020

How Do I React When I'm Hurt??! (Connie J...)

I was raised by a very wounded man, that never grew out of his hurt from his childhood, on.  I choose to live my life, differently. I have no children - didn't even get a dog, til I was 40, and was finally able to share myself with another being.

I once lived with a Friend, and their 2 small children, for 13 years, until we parted ways. It was definitely a learning experience. When we would fight, at first, I would just kind of "scream my piece", then leave the room. One time, I thought I was going to have to ask for help out of my room, because I slammed the door so hard, it almost came all the way into my room. (I didn't - can you imagine how embarrassing??!) I really grew from those 13 years, and learned a lot about relationship. Not "lovey dovey-type"; just in general, how people should treat each other - even in Friendship.

I have learned how important honest communication is, over the years; but sometimes, when I get hurt, old tapes just play in my head - "Why was I not important enough?", "Are they REALLY my Friend?", etc. Yes, it can happen THAT fast!!!

I try to look at the situation, logically. I recently had the epiphany (again); "How big of a priority do I make myself??!" "Are my reactive feelings just a reflection of how I AM treating myself?" Remember, I have been on a quest for myself, particularly after losing my Mother; and I've not arrived at perfection, yet.

I was raised in a Domestic Violence situation. I am not alone in this; but it does give me insight. When someone hurts my feelings, or chooses something/someone over me, how do I react? "Should I BE a first choice?" "Should my children come first?" These are questions I think anyone in that situation would ask themselves.

My Mother usually chose my Father - I have been working on this, for awhile, and I know she did the best she could; but should we kids have been a bigger priority? I know SHE should have.

Remember, if your "Airplane of  Life" is going down, put YOUR "oxygen mask" on first!!!

I have not exhausted this topic; but I hope I have given you something to think about, especially if you are involved in a Domestic Violence situation.

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV