Jul. 27, 2019

There IS Good in Him... (Connie J...)

I always say I had a very Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker kind of relationship with my Father.

I always thought he was a very powerful man.

As I got older, I realized he was a very toxic person, that "dealt with his insecurities" (??!) by being very bold, and at times, obnoxious, with HIS needs. If he didn't get his way, he expressed his disatisfaction in an explosive manner, and left. (Do YOU hear the "Imperial March" in the background, right now??!)

I knew he had a bumpy childhood, at best, and was a very wounded man. HOWEVER, this does NOT give ANYONE the right to abuse ANYONE!!!

To my knowledge, he never hit my Mother; but was verbally abusive and manipulative.

At the end of his life, however, mainly the last year; his brain was still sharp, but he was unable to really verbally express himself.

I believe he did a lot of introspection that year. Some of the last words he said to my Sister, were, "I'm sorry"; and one of the STNAs said, "When I looked at that man, I saw Jesus".

My Father and I worked on our relationship, as far as he was able/willing to. I accepted that, though I was disappointed. We had at least discussed it; and I did see changes. I DID see good in him; but, it didn't change, or justify, all the stuff that happened in the past.

I realize nothing does - all we can do is learn, and heal, and go on. That is the MOST important - the going on.

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV 

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