Jan. 13, 2016

#NOMORE Here's to 2016... (Connie J)

I don't really make New Year's  resolutions. My only goal for the future year is for it to be a more productive one; and that I continue to grow as a person. Last year was my year of "healthing". Let's just say, for every step forward I took, I felt like I took two steps backward.

This, unfortunately, is how life goes, sometimes. Did I give up? No. Did I rest, and whine where I was, a little bit? Yes. Am I still exactly where I was? Sort of, but I have a new resolve. Different than a resolution.

I have a goal to reach, and while I may not be where I could have been because of a few setbacks; I do believe I will reach my goal, regardless.

Victims of Domestic Violence have goals, too. Some, the main goal is just to survive. Safety and escape for them, and their children is high on the list of goals, also.

Safety for all is number one. The abuser tries to control every aspect of their lives - from their financial abilities, to their self-worth. YOU ARE WORTH KEEPING SAFE!!! If you don't keep yourself safe, how can you help your children? When you fly on an airplane, part of the emergency information they go over specifically states, "If your oxygen mask pops down in an emergency, PUT YOURS ON FIRST!!!" You cannot help them in an emergency if you're passed out cold from lack of oxygen.

Goal two is to try and assess what options you really do have. I think this should happen in ANY relationship. Look at things froma a REALISTIC standpoint. What really IS going on? Is there a possibility of communication without any sort of violence? I'm not talking about yelling, here. Can you express your concerns without any repercussions such as hitting, derogatory remarks, or worse?

Goal three is to realize you have to take some serious steps, and ask for help. THERE IS NO SHAME for being in the position you are in; but you're the ONLY one who can make the choice of the next step.

There may be consequences for staying OR leaving; which is the better set of consequences to have to deal with?

I know I've brought up a lot of questions, and rambled a bit - please consider what I've shared. My main heart's desire is for all I come in contact with to be safe...

Have a good day, and BE SAFE...

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